I have bitten off more than I can chew and I’m thinking that I can’t pull myself out of this one. I set so many goals for myself this semester, however I have come short on nearly all of them. Again I feel a pattern that I, myself am a jack of all trades and master of none. I’m pretty much freaking out about my club, my work, and most of all, my grades.
I know that this semester is not entirely a reflection of myself however it’s getting extremely hard not to just let all of this stress fall on top of me, spiraling down like a domino effect. My biggest faults that I have seen within myself is biting off more than I can chew and spreading myself to thin. I believe what I need right now the most is faith. Faith in myself to keep to my goals. Faith in others to have my back and support me. Faith in knowing that I am capable of doing great things. Faith in focusing at the rocks at my feet and not the mountains ahead.
I honestly believe that I could have excelled this semester, however two completely different but big opportunities fell into my lap that I chose to take. And in all of that chaos, my family has been dealing with the passing of our beautiful grandmother who was an enormous piece of my heart and my family’s strength. It was extremely sudden and as I study away from home, this passing has taken a huge tole on my focus for school. I do not mean to give the perception of making excuses for myself, because it was me who didn’t allow myself enough time for my personal life. And with these unexpected obstacles that I was given this semester it resulted in me pushing myself too hard.
I just feel that I am pushing my way through with my head down right now, trying to find that light at the end of the tunnel.
This semester has been overwhelming, HOWEVER… as I sit inside a nearby Starbucks, studying my Chemistry & Biology I can already begin to feel the weight of my stress fall off of my shoulders. This week was brutal and it was a wake up call but I stopped that train of thought. I stepped back from my classwork and recharged my battery by getting some good sleep, going to the gym, and taking some time out to do what I wanted to which was going to the basketball game with my friends and then Applebees after. I woke up this morning with no real plans set for the day but an extreme motivation to get some school work done which was what I was searching for all week! I had kept stressing on deadlines, past assignments, and time constraints. While I worried about all of that I was wasting time in the present. It can be a vicious cycle, but I had the strength, resources, and support to get out of that terrible mind set. I came back up for air and found that inner peace.
I found my faith again.